Pages From My Skin

CUBA, I MISS YOU!!!

2010-09-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

I can't really explain all that I experienced in Cuba because the evolution that has since culminated within me has ultimately transformed who I am. Nonetheless, I am a better person because of this trip. I learned so much about people, about the history of Cuba, about Hip-Hop's history on the island, the culture, the economic state, etc. I'm most excited to speak on the people I met and how they've influenced me.

EXPLOSION SUPREMA: Brebaje Man and Miki Flow. Legendary artists out of Cuba. They're very much like the Wu-Tang of Cuba. They've been around since the 90s. Their flows are so hype and so intricate. I spent everyday with these brothers. Miki was very much my guide while I was in Cuba. Etian "Brebaje Man" was my road dog. We connected on another level. These are REALLY my brothers and I mean that with all of my heart. They really held me down. So much support & positive energy. Thank you both!!

Miki Flow rockin' at the 2010 Hip-Hop Symposium (a five day festival of performances, workshops, film screenings, and connecting). Explosion Suprema hosted one of the nights at El Teatro Riviera which ended up being one of my favorite nights. Mainly because each artist was on point...back 2 back 2 back.

Brebaje Man backing up Miki from off-stage. By the time he came on, the audience went crazy. I got on to perform right after! The crowd showed so much love. Got it all on video!!

En Micro X, Alamar with my homies. Micro X is very much like The Bronx was during the 1960s! It was unreal. The buildings, the graffiti...the community. Everybody's door was open as people would come in and out. Everybody showed each other love. Cuba is another world entirely.

Miki's mother and his daughter.

I was really happy that I got to build with Alexey de Obsesion. Such an intelligent, humble, and hard working brother. After building for a few days backstage at the Symposium, he invited me to come through his crib. There, we recorded a new track with Antony of Egypt (Dope MC from Canada) and Ali Deheshi (Awesome artist from Iran). Hoping to put it on this next album.

This was the view outside of Alexey's studio.

My 2 favorite DJs in Cuba!!!!

La Real & Indiana. Two beautiful and talented artists. I got to build with them during my time in Cuba. After recording "Amistad" with Explosion Suprema, I got them to sing on it. Their voices sound incredible. "Amistad" is DEF gonna be on the new album. Keep a heads up. Even got a music video for it. : )
Indiana snuck this pic on me. I love it. I was actually waiting on line for a pizza. Super hungry! Hahaha...

David: Amazing poet, MC, painter, producer, father, and overall person. So deep and spiritual. Loved kickin' it with him.

I had these kids begging me for this photo for days. Buggin' my homie David's crib like crazy. So funny! (They eventually got it!!!) If you're interested in seeing more pics, I got more on my facebook. CLICK HERE TO CHECK THEM OUT

After visiting Cuba, I have to say...I have a lot to think about. Alotta times, people speak negatively about it because of its post-revolution economic situation and/or the events that have taken place since the revolution but the truth is, it has remained completely independent since the falling of Russia. Even then, I did not see ONE homeless person. And I didn't see people dying of hunger. Given...you don't eat like a king in Cuba but that raises the question...do you really need to? Everyone gets by but what makes them want more is the taunting luxuries of capitalism. The extra clothes, the flat screen tv...the EXTRA. In Cuba, everyone has a place to live and is not allowed to be kicked out. That's their home. They get free medical and receive free education. There is no real access to the internet and few people have phones, but that is why Cubans are so animated and fun to be around. They are storytellers. Yo pienso que "Cuba y Puerto Rico son las dos alas del mismo pajaro." (Cuba and Puerto Rico are the 2 wings of the same bird.)

Cuba, I will miss you! Siempre libre! Much love! Thank you for everything.

Intikana

P.S. Thank you Mariana for making miracles happen!

FAT BEATS CLOSES

2010-09-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

With the closing of Fat Beats, one has to ponder the future of music. The business of it at least. Especially in Hip-Hop. Right now, the independent artist has to be on an unprecedented grind. People are just not buying music the way they used to. (Let alone vinyl!) Consumers want FREE music. FREE downloads, FREE everything! How does one compete!??

With such incredible new technologies available at such low prices, I think we really need to step up our game and take advantage. Scared money don't make money. We need to produce & record our own music. Make our own videos. Sell our own product & merchandise. Book our own gigs. (Damn...the weight really starts to add up when you think about it.) Nowadays, an MC has to know how to use Pro Tools, Final Cut, Reason, and Photoshop...just to get by. It's a sign of the times. Yet the opportunities are endless. As ever evolving entrepreneurs, let's keep our minds and third eyes open for the next step in the future of Hip-Hop. We will prevail.

with DJ Eclipse.

So much history on these walls...

with Masta Ace.

with J-Live.

I-Truth sportin' that new "WOODGRAIN" (Bamboo MC's new album). Mixed & Engineered by yours truly! : )

YC tearin' it up!

Pack FM and Tonedeff..

Packed house. OD hot...even with 3 ACs pumpin' at that. I didn't see ONE person NOT sweating.

Last in-house sales. Kinda sad when you think about it.

"Peace & Respect to Fat Beats. 94 til infinity!!!" -INTIKANA

2010 BRAVE NEW VOICES

2010-07-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

This past week, my Urban Word mentees (Jesica Blandon, Ish, Ka'Mone Felix, Sean B, Justin Long, and Jay Davis) took 1st place at the 2010 Brave New Voices in Los Angeles, California. Finals was hosted by Common and Rosario Dawson. Talib Kweli, who was a judge, ended up performing on stage with Common...

PEEP THE PICS BELOW (All Photos by Intikana)

So much hope. So much inspiration. So much love. Congratulations UDUB!!

Intikana

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

2010-07-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

After over a year being away from Cali, I am back! Didn't realize how much I really missed this place. So many memories. Old ones to reflect on. New ones to build upon. So grateful.

Eating bomb food at this Spanish restaurant in The Mission District of San Francisco. (The Mission has some of the sickest murals ever!!!!!)

Playing chess in the park. I lost this game but dude had been playing chess for longer than I've been born. Game ended with only 3 pieces on the board. My king, his king, and his queen. I think I did pretty well!!! Best game I've played in YEARSSS!!! P.S. This guy had the same name as my Grandfather: Ricardo. The man that taught me how to play chess. Trippy...

Music was alive and pumping in the streets. This guitarist sang for me and my homegirl in spanish. 2 beautiful songs. : )

One of my most favorite parts of my trip to California was simply based on moments lived fluidly. No thoughts. Mainly intuition and the need to do whatever my heart desired at any given moment. This is my first time in Cali without me having a show or workshop. I am enjoying just living. At times...like a child!!! Other times, in deep meditation.

After getting some bomb borritos and listening to Nas & Damian Marley's new album (Incredible by the way!), here I am at Delores Park in San Francisco. Later in the week, I got to peep DJ Ethos & Ana Tijoux in San Fran, check out the footage:

Also got to peep the Tommie Smith and John Carlos mural at San Jose State. So powerful. These brothers protested an entire system with the mere symbolic raising of their fists at the 1968 Olympics. I think more athletes around the world should follow in their footsteps and stand up for something. What an unforgettable moment in history!!

Later, I met the legendary playwright Luis Valdez (known as the "Godfather of Chicano Theater") who wrote the infamous Zoot Suit (which was eventually turned into a film.) In the 1960s, he worked with Cesar Chavez in the migrant workers' strikes and combined theater with community organizing. Wonderful spirit.

Emotions were still high in the street. At least the energy was for me. Riding the BART train to Oakland was a powerful experience. Oscar Grant: I promise you...your murder will NOT go in vain.

My homie Andy Robinson really held me down on this trip. Drove through San Fran, Santa Cruz, San Jose, Hollywood, Los Angeles, San Juan Bautista, and back to the Bay! Thanks Andy! It was a blessing building with you brother.

More chess with my boy Charlie "Philosophy: The Unsigned Paradigm of Poetry!" Lots of late night discussions. New perspectives. New energy.

Til next time...Love ya' Cali!!!

-Intikana

FASCIOUS CHANGES HIS NAME!!!

2010-06-17T11:41:00.001-07:00

"Over the past year, I have been through a series of tremendous transformations and as a result, I have decided to change my name. So, for the record, I will **NO LONGER** be going as Fascious. My new name is and will be INTIKANA (Pronounced "In-Tee-Kah-Nah"). It is a name that I acquired in South America and affirmed in the jungles of the Amazon. It is very ancient, indigenous, and means "that which has no beginning and no end." In Quechua, Inti means "Sun" and Kana means "Instrument." It will take awhile for my online materials to catch up to this change, however, I hope you will all support me in this transition as I can already feel the stars RE-aligning. Peace & Respect." - INTIKANA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALCOLM X!

2010-05-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today, at Brook Park in the South Bronx, several members of the Rebel Diaz Arts Collective came to show unconditional love and respect to one of our most important heroes...Malcolm X. He passed on February 21, 1965 and has since left individuals such as myself questioning prospects of potential. Potential to create a new nation by "any means necessary." When he said that, I don't feel he was simply referring to using guns. I think he meant doing whatever it takes to achieve liberation. However, each circumstance is unique, thus, by "any means necessary" applies to each unique situation. It is 2010. Strategies that worked in the 1960s no longer apply today.

With that said, we need to develop a new plan of action. Most of us who choose to be conscious act out of anger and/or frustration with the "system." We march, protest, spit poems and songs because we feel an innate need to express ourselves in relation to the world around us. However, I have come to realize that we have no plan of longevity. No real long term strategy. We need to develop a plan of action before we continue to put our hearts out there because otherwise we are merely passionate balls of energy with no direction.

[Brothers G1 and Rodstarz (2/3 of Rebel Diaz) holdin' it down.]

I think that plan of action starts with confronting the bloody depths of our past. Excavating as far as we can to gather only the truest sources of information. From there, I believe we need to decide where we want to be. What future do you want to offer your children's children? And what about the children's children of strangers who could very well be your brother or sister? We are all connected more intricately than either of us can fathom. Previous Young Lord, Iris Morales says there are 5 steps to a social movement.

1. First, you need a vision.

2. Then, people to believe in that vision.

3. That's when you need to organize.

4. Educate.

5. And finally follow through with action.

Our oppressors have managed to obliterate our collective sense of self over the course of centuries. I mean...think about it. Where are you from? What is your real history? Who are your ancestors? What beliefs did they practice? What was the essence of their culture and why does it matter? Where does your last name come from and how does it relate to who you are not? Why do you have the color eyes you have? Skin tone? Hair type? DNA structure? Who are you really? Malcolm knew he could not accurately answer such questions so he put an X in place of his last name. I believe we still haven't the slightest clue to who we truly are and will never know unless we dig beyond that which is immediately in front of us. We have to break through the facade of the matrix (by any means necessary) and be strong enough to dive into the abyss of truth.

[Fascious, Charlie Hustle, Rodstarz, Lucho, G1]

Power to the Evolution of Revolution.

Photos by the Legendary Photographer JOE CONZO (Author of "Born In The Bronx")

5 POINTZ PHOTOSHOOT

2010-05-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine, Dinah Ismail, flew in from Long Beach, CA to see Penumbra play at Teatro La Tea. I was mad happy because 1. "Damn, you flew in from Cali!??" and 2. she's really cool peoples. She held me down on my 2009 Cali Tour and is one of those people who are a blessing to have in your life. After seeing the show, she offered to hook me up with a free photoshoot. We decided to hit up 5 Pointz in Queens. Here are some of the photos that culminated...

The color in this, I think, is powerful. Very vivid. My button up is actually brown but somehow becomes more burgundy in this photo. (The wall looks even more beautiful in person.)

I really like the one above for the fact that there were no after effects made for it to look the way it does. Natural sunlight and I suppose a camera filter of some sort. The transparency feel is awesome. Dope job Dinah! Much love!

Photo Credit: D. Diamonds

IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE, REBEL DIAZ, HASAN SALAAM, FASCIOUS, AND MORE!!!

2010-05-06T11:09:00.000-07:00

On May 1, 2010, the Rebel Diaz Arts Collective stormed Union Square in New York City for the 2010 May Day Freedom Festival. Thousands of people arrived to march and protest against the SB 1070 Law in Arizona granting Police Officers the right to racially profile "suspected immigrants" and deport them upon absence of their citizenship papers. Artists such as Immortal Technique, Rebel Diaz, Hasan Salaam, Division X, Fascious, and others performed in support of protesting this law. The video above shows what CNN, ABC, NY1, and other news stations refused to report...The truth in the form of Hip-Hop. Check it out!

HIP-HOP THEATER FESTIVAL PRESENTS: 3 LEYENDAS

2010-04-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

What a dope event!? A showcase for some of the most legendary Hip-Hop artists internationally. Siete Nueve de Puerto Rico (above photo) was oFF the hook! I've always heard so much about him. It was so dope to finally meet him and witness him do his thing.

Boca Floja de Mexico (above photo) tore it down!! One of the most exciting aspects of the show was hearing the wide range of accents and seeing how those accents affected flow and creativity. Much props & respect!

Eli Efi y DJ Laylo (above photo) brought it to the people! Along with them, DeLaCeiba and Attiya rocked the mic! Always a pleasure witnessing them get together on stage. Circa 95, Rebel Diaz, Divsion X, El Meswy de Spain and a few other artists as well. Anita Tijoux de Chile....pheeewwwww!!! NO ONE rocked it like her! Words don't even describe. And on the lyrical tip, Miki Flow de Cuba destroyed it! (If you don't know, check out the video below...)

After the show was over, I rode with Rebel Diaz and Miki Flow back to the Bronx. We spoke about things that really made me think and re-analyze the current state of socio-politics in Hip-Hop. Reflecting on the night, we all felt that the energy should have been stronger. It felt more like people wanted "entertainment" rather than what the night was really about...truth, culture, love, and real lyrics. For some of these artists, it was their first time in New York. I know that when I went to Ecuador, for example, people treated me like family just off the tip that I was an MC. That same unconditional love did come across during the showcase though. It was more like, "This is New York City homie...show us what you got." Made me really think about the overall atmosphere in NY and the factors that attribute to such artificial barricades. Does that make sense?

To all my international brothers & sisters, sigue la lucha! Nosotros somos los hijos de Hip-Hop y yo pienso que nosotros podemos hacer lo que es imposible! Vamos!!!!

Photography Credit: Michael Premo

30 DAYS FOR 30 YEARS: PRISON CELL PROJECT

2010-04-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

Check out this video I made for the National Boricua Human Rights Network's 30 Days For 30 Years: Prison Cell Project.

Videography by: Fascious, Laura Benitez, and Camilo Matos

Photography by: Amy Ponce, Sergio Concepcion de Gracia, Steven Mangual, Camilo Matos, & Fascious

Edited by: Fascious

MEETING JUSTIN BUA

2010-03-31T23:28:00.000-07:00

After sending Justin Bua my promo video for his NYC Art Exhibit, he hit me up and offered to take me out for a cup of coffee. So, I met up with him in SoHo about an hour before his show as we politicked about Old School Hip-Hop, arts education, and why the Bronx is better than the upper west side. (WoRRDDD!!!) He gave me a free shirt that he made and signed for me. He also sent me another shirt in the mail because apparently I don't fit an XL. : )

We drank wine, kicked it with folks, he signed my book, took photos, and shouted me out on video! That was dope. Definitely a memorable night. I also met a few cool people. One being Aquino (in above photo). One of Bua's friends from back in the day. There's a picture of him in the back of Bua's book. Such a soulful brother. Intelligent, funny, and empowering. He really helped make the night shine forever brightly in the mind of growth. (Peep Bua's new paintings of Jay-Z and DJ Kool Herc in the background) FReSh!

And for the record, Kareem Abdul Jabbar is tall. Like REALLY TALL! Like OD-Why-Are-You-That-Tall Tall! Like what the hell was yo' momma feedin' you-good lord-wooh child-you're tall! I asked to take a picture with him but it might be possible he didn't hear me from that high up. He just shook his head without making eye contact. (eGo is an interesting thing. I'm actually writing up a new workshop about it. Thank you for the inspiration Kareem!)

JUSTIN BUA IN NYC!!!

2010-03-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

If you are not aware of the Legend-In-His-Own-Right JUSTIN BUA, then you might be unfamiliar with the face behind the unfathomable. Justin Bua is a painter who has contributed countless classic masterpieces to the Hip-Hop culture. In a world where art has gone digital, he is one of the very few who still represent in raw form. In promoting his upcoming book, LEGENDS OF HIP-HOP, he will be in New York City on March 25th to unveil his new paintings of DJ Kool Herc and Jay-Z at the Pop International Gallery on 473 West Broadway. The exhibit starts at 8:30pm. This is one of those events where you don't realize you are a part of history until it's in the books years later. I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND not missing the show. Upon being put on to his creations years back, I was recently moved to write Justin Bua a song and even further inspired to make him a music video to promote his show. Check it out. (See above video clip)

HOMELESS & PICKY

2010-03-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

Peep the scene:

I exit Sylvia's (classic restaurant in Harlem) with leftovers in my hand. I'm talking some amazing whiting fish, garlic/herbal mashed potatoes, yams, and mac & cheese! Yum, right!?

Well...check it out! There was a man on the corner begging for change. I felt mad guilty holding this food (and I'm talking DElicious food!) in my hand so I offer it to him. Below is the dialogue that ensued:

ME: Excuse me, I got some food from the restaurant right there, would you like to eat it?

MAN: Uhhmmm....well, what you got?

ME: Uh, I got fish with...

MAN: Fish? What kind of fish?

ME: I believe whiting. Yeah, whiting fish.

MAN: It's not catfish, is it?

ME: No...whiting.

MAN: You sure it's not catfish!?

ME: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I was just eating it. There's a whole piece in there. Untouched.

MAN: Well, I don't know. What else is in there?

ME: Uhm, there's mac & chesse, yams....

MAN: Eghhhh... (shakes his head back & forth like he's debating in his mind)

ME: My dude, it's alright. You don't have to eat it. I was just offering.

MAN: Nah, I guess I can.

At this point, we're both holding on to the styrofoam container.

ME: Look, if you're gonna eat it, I'll give it to you. If not, I actually enjoyed the food. I wouldn't at all mind finishing it later tonight.

MAN: No, it's fine. I'll take it. (Looks at the container like I just offered him a bag of shit) Thanks.

I start to walk away when he yells!

MAN: I JUST DON'T LIKE CATFISH, ALRIGHT! YOU LIKE PIG'S FEET!? IF I OFFERED YOU PIG'S FEET AND YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, WOULD YOU EAT IT!!?? HUH, WOULD YA!!!??

I have not been able to get over this. Can someone help me out here? Was I wrong? The man didn't have to be ecstatic for the food but it wasn't like I was offering him a laffy taffy. In that container was a whole meal. That act doesn't make me a humanitarian by any means but you go around the world and see people picking food off the floor and out of the garbage. In NYC, you got homeless folks who are vegetarian, vegan, and lactose intolerant for crying out loud. I just DO NOT understand. Dios mio!

SHUTTER ISLAND...REVIEW??

2010-03-01T16:50:00.000-08:00

Martin Scorsese: SAY IT AIN'T SO!

The 2 hours and 18 minutes of this film was hard to bare. I think Leonardo did the best with what he could given the script's multiple layers of complexity but nonetheless, I think the movie falls short...rather unfavorably. I never read the book this movie was based on but based on the text, it seems like it was a way better read than it could have ever accurately been translated to the big screen.

In brief, I haven't seen a movie this disappointing since I witnessed The Wrestler (Directed by Darren Aronofsky...my favorite director hands down!) The Wrestler in its entirety was great. (Don't get me wrong!) It was just the ending that got me like....uhhhhh. My man Mickey Rourke gets on the top turnbuckle, crying (about to have the most fulfilling moment of his career)...jumps...and the screen blacks out! WTF!! Really??! I get the whole "imagine what happened" or "put the pieces together yourself" perspective but damn! Wasn't feeling that. (Forgive the tangent)

Anyhow, I strongly suggest not paying to see Shutter Island. I almost walked out twice but the person I was with convinced me not to. What can I say? Had I not paid $22...I'd a def walked out! It was 7:30pm on a Saturday night and you could actually hear people yawning. That bad! As excited as I was to see it, I'd have to say it was quite the yawn launcher and...I have to say in many ways cliche. Or at least not very innovative. It looked like it needed at least another 2 or 3 months in post production. I've been trying to look up who composed the music for this film. (If you find out...please send me an email: info@fascious.com) I don't even have it in me to admit the adjectives that come to mind. But hey, I'm not a movie critic, neither am I in a position to say what sounds like tasteless-played out-typical and predictable scary movie music. Honestly, I only KNOW what I like. And I KNOW you couldn't get me to watch this movie again. If you haven't seen it yet...save yourself!

WHIRLWIND IN THE WINDY CITY

2010-02-23T09:06:00.000-08:00

9 Days in Chi-town! Phew! What a trip!? A feature at the legendary Green Mill and dinner with Marc Smith. 2 incredible workshops, a Strictly Flow feature, and performance of Penumbra at DePaul University. Not to mention my run at Batey Urbano. Many DEEP DEEP connections were made and I am so proud to have been a vessel. It's all so humbling. I am in every spectrum grateful.

None of this wouldn't have ever been possible without the unconditional and immeasurable amounts of support from Marisol Morales, Jacqui Lazu, Samuel Vega, Tony Bruno, Gabrielle, Lebster, everyone at Batey Urbano, BAKKA, students at the radio station, and everyone else who really helped in facilitating what needed to get done. Also thanks to Victor and Jay for holding down the camera work. (Jay...Final Cut Studio with the master suites is NO JOKE!!!! Good looks on the programs) Much love to all of you who came out and opened yourself to my work. Don't ever hesitate to connect. Def visit the website and keep in touch. Chi-City...I will back!!!

P.S. Shout outs to Dan Kelleghan for the MOST amazing photo shoot in his dope studio! He is so incredibly talented, ambitious, and passionate! Check out some photos from the shoot at his website: http://www.eye2eyephotography.net/blog2/?p=1249

P.P.S. And to Jacqui's students: NEVER FORGET YOUR MANY TRUTHS. EVERY FRAGMENT OF THIS EXISTENCE IS MERELY A THREAD MANIFESTED THROUGH US FROM OUR TRUE ESSENCE. SOMETIMES, ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO DREAM IS CLOSE YOUR EYES...

PENUMBRA VIDEO SHOOT

2010-02-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

This is a general shot of the set for Penumbra's new opening video. (Below is the other half of the room) Notice the boombox though! Ghettoblaster in full effect. Also, on the wall are some posters that I bought to get that early-mid 1980s feel. To the right is a rare Beat Street poster that says "Breakin' this summer!" I love it!

Peep the Fruit of the Looms!! Haha.

This is a shot of Christina Benavides (Director on shoot) getting a close up of me playing my Dad. (Yes, I shaved my whole face! Ehhh!) As you can see I got that old plancha, ironing board, and starch spray can! What'ch you know bout that!?) Also...the person taking this picture is also running lights. Her name is Chiara Cristina Fariello (Also Assistant Directing the shoot). Btw, that's a Canon HV40 Christina is using. An HD video camcorder that records to mini DV with wonderful capabilities (which I just recently got a Canon DM-50 Shotgun microphone for).

The jacket to the right is a replicate of my Dad's original Heman jacket. Airbrushed out here in the Bronx. Also, peep the Old Skool television! Ya'll remember 13 channels!!??? Haha. Ahhh, the good ol' days...

So mad this poster never made the cut! If you see the show, pay attention real closely and you might see the bottom inch of it. That's about it. :... ( The footage was eventually edited by yours truly on Final Cut Pro. I'm so proud of the outcome. Several folks broke night with me making sure this shoot got done. SPECIAL THANKS TO:

CHRISTINA BENAVIDES: she not only directed the shoot but helped organize a lot of it! Such a big piece to the puzzle. Thank YOU Christina! You made it happen. CHIARA CRISTINA FARIELLO: designed lights and assistant directed the shoot. We had never met prior to the shoot but she really held it down. What a dope experience! GRACIANO (DJ MELO G): provided the space and made some off-the-chain buffalo wings! Thank you for being so accommodating my dude! MS. B: provided the tv, boombox, plancha, ironing board, and was overall so incredibly willing to help. Thank you Ms. B! MELISSA MONTERO: she was the one who really pushed me to get this done. It was just a thought in my mind but she made me type out a checklist of everything I needed to get done. A month later, I manifested my vision. What a blessing! : )

R.I.P. ANTHONY???

2010-01-21T04:06:00.000-08:00

On my way home from the Rebel Diaz Arts Collective, I saw this wall. I had just had a really dope night and spiritually was in a good place. Riding my bike home, I had to take a moment to reflect.

Damn...that could have been me. My life could have culminated in a R.I.P. mural. The most bugged out part was how I rode a few blocks further down to see "Anthony Baez Place." A street once named Cameron Place but renamed after a 29 year old who was killed by a police officer for continuing to play football in the street after cops ordered him & his brothers to stop. Thinking about this, I couldn't move. 2 signs in a row both signifying the death of someone holding my name. It was 2 or 3 in the morning. Made it really hard to go home.

To make things even more difficult, I saw a few officers walking by. This made me so nervous. Why did I need to feel that way? I started thinking about how my pops was shot by a correctional officer. I started thinking about the times I've had to pull over and have a cop say some stupid shit to me. I remember in High School, I was driving my girlfriend and a few friends to the movies when out of nowhere...some undercover DTs pulled me over asking, "You got any needles or crack pipes in there?" WTF!!!? They didn't even ask for my license and registration. All in all, I've definitely had more negative encounters with the police than positive. However, moments later, a cop car then pulls over alongside me upon me taking pictures of local graffiti in the area. They just had to stop and stare. So irritating. I eventually rode my bike home and wrote down the following affirmations:

"I feel more comfortable in the projects at 2am than I do near a police officer at 2pm."

"The only weapons I know more dangerous than guns are words."

GIVING THANKS

2009-11-26T12:06:00.000-08:00

The fourth Thursday of every November has always stirred up a lot of emotion within me. It has inevitably become a day where my family gathers to eat, dance, laugh, sneak extra vodka into their cranberry juice (or perhaps puerto rican rum into their pepsi), talk about a relative from across the room, complain about how nobody knows how to watch their own damn child, argue about who ate the jellos before dinner was even served, cry because the Holidays remind them of a relationship they're no longer in, cry because they're in a relationship they no longer want to be in, and overall great memories. Despite the brutally beautiful moments that have transpired over the years, I cannot seem to ignore the native brothers and sisters who were in every dimension raped & exploited for us to now so naively celebrate a "Holi"day that is so far from Holy. When I speak to people about the history of Thanksgiving or history in general pertaining to other events such as Christmas or...freakin' Columbus Day or anything that challenges mass tradition, they always try to dismiss me as though I'm going on a senseless rant and request that I just get over it and enjoy the moment. But look, you canNOT being to tell the descendant of one of the oppressed and violated mix of people on this earth that what he has to say with respect to who he is...well, is irrevelant and annoyingly past tense. I'm not going to go in on this blog right now but in short, let's just say I try my best to be present everyday but it becomes more and more difficult when the past oppressions of your ancestors consume the cultural fire that ignites your spirit. How ironic is it that we slaughter mass numbers of turkeys every November to represent family love and, in some illogical way, a dinner that was followed with smoked gun powder, dead bodies, and "free" land???

With that said, I have decided to rename this Holiday "Giving Thanks." As opposed to saying "Thanks" for "Giving," I want to "Give" in order to say "Thanks." I want to give thanks to everyone who has ever given a fuck. For anyone who has been there beyond artificial means and stuck it with me when I didn't even know how to be myself. Before I even learned what self meant or words like culture or love or history or Taino or Arawak or oppression or hate or greed or color or lack there of or any/everything in between. I give thanks for my upbringing. For both the joy and pain that it has brought to my life. To the lessons I learn daily and to the new and beautiful souls that continue to enter it. I am eternally grateful. Each year will continue to serve my growth (I believe beyond my own expectations), nonetheless, I will continue to evolve accordingly. In the meantime, I'm done gobbling yo' oppressed turkeys with booty holes filled with dirty fingers and expired seasoning! Word. Stuff that Pilgrim!!!

ATT: EVERYTHING BEFORE ME

2009-11-17T02:51:00.000-08:00

In writing this, I just needed a moment to both reflect and I suppose meditate. I am so grateful for the wide variety of spectrums in which I exist. I once asked the origin of this illusioned reality to "murder me good." I still co-sign that statement. Progression.

[Photo by Alex Green IV]

PENUMBRA REvisited

2009-11-13T23:46:00.000-08:00

Last night, I brought Penumbra back to SUNY Oneonta. Despite many challenges, the event turned out to be, I think, a wide success. SGE (Students for Global Education) managed to raise hundreds of dollars to help in funding their trip to Ghana. It also raised a great deal of awareness as well as recognition concerning both the cause and the club itself. The venue was difficult to work with considering the lack of lighting capabilities and limited sound equipment. Having the lighting designer cancel the day of didn't help either but we made the best of the space and I think managed really well.

Shouts out to Emily Hooper who helped out with the show...on her actual birthday! Word up! That was really dope! Also to Dan Pneuman for his phenomenal day-to-day grind on making this happen, Hasanai for planting the seeds, Keon, Michelle, Kerri, Chris, Frederick, and the rest of the folks at SGE. I of course can't forget everyone who helped in promoting and sponsoring the show: Robb Thibault & The Hunt College Union, Bill Harcleroad, CUAC, The Student Association, CME, SCC, The Anthropology Club, and Res Life. Also, thanks to Amanda for taking incredible pictures, Mel Levine for capturing video, and The State Times for being so supportive! (I see you JP!) Thanks to everyone who helped out! (Hope I didn't forget any orgs) Much love & gratitude!

P.S. Shout outs to Parrelli & Yanski for driving all the way from Jersey and dropping my ass off in the Bronx! Word. Ya'll are amazing!

[Photo by HorQet Photography]

NOTES FROM TJ

2009-11-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

"Humans can never be perfect. That's why you should never be flustered when perfection is not reached."

"She's scared of the depth behind your eyes."

"Perfection is fleeting because it was not meant for this planet."

DREAM: Dark Tunnel

2009-10-22T04:38:00.000-07:00

I was in a car driving through a dark tunnel when suddenly a truck with wheels larger than me crushed the vehicle I was in. Everything became pitch black. It looked like certain death but I mentally was unwilling and ultimately not ready to say goodbye to life.

I never felt any pain.

All seemed to be ok. Wasn't sure where I was. Just hoping I wouldn't die. I had only gone to bed 18 minutes prior. I woke up as if it were a "dissolve out" effect that allowed me to escape from my dream.

Note to self: I just am

NEW BEGINNINGS

2009-09-24T00:41:00.000-07:00

I'm shifting a transitional period. I haven't been writing much as of lately. Not even journal entries. Many routines & rhythms have been broken. I've been feeling more reserved as my associations with people in my life have changed completely. I can feel the blow-the-surface energy boil and it is hard for me to ignore. Indeed. Words + lack there of scar deep sometimes...

I am riding the wind. Taking chances. Memorizing moments. Loving spontaneity. Building on past visions of self to sculpt a new image manifested. Unrecognizable at times, even to myself. My mind is constantly changing.

OPENING FOR LUPE FIASCO PT. II

2009-09-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

Before an audience of over 3,000 students at SUNY Oneonta, I was blessed to open up for Lupe Fiasco this past Saturday. The energy was unreal and the stage was ridiculous! There was a part where I simply asked how Oneonta was doing and I was nearly blown off stage by the crowd's energy. Cartoon status. I decided to open things up with a new poem about my mother entitled "The Nest" which led into "Glimpse of Charcoal." I followed that with a new verse over a RUN DMC track. After that, I closed things up with "Visceral Layer" and "Anoxia's Inertia." In my opinion, Lupe killed the set! (Not to mention his drummer!!!) Lupe really has a rockstar presence on stage. Pretty dope to witness! I think it took way too long for him to get on stage though but by the time he did, the crowd was hype! By the end of his set, he had no shirt and no shoes...you do the math!

After the show, I got to see some familiar faces from Oneonta. Got me some good ol' sushi at Tokyo on Main Street. (Jimmy, I had to do it!!!) Afterwards, I just kicked it at a few spots and knocked out somewhere on Church St. I was sooo tired!

There are currently talks of bringing my one man Hip-Hop Musical "Penumbra"to SUNY Oneonta for a special one time performance sometime this Fall. We'll see how that goes down.

Much to consider but all is snowballing in the right direction. Overall, I feel blessed and growing. Love & Light.

P.S. I will be uploading footage from the performance sometime next week onto youtube. Keep a heads up!

OPENING FOR LUPE FIASCO PT. I

2009-09-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

This upcoming Saturday, September 12, I will be opening for Lupe Fiasco at SUNY Oneonta's Alumni Field House. This is the same venue where I did my Epicenter concert last year with Immortal Technique. I'm particularly interested in sharing the stage with Lupe for several reasons:

1. I think he brings an urgent lyricism to the mainstream avenues of Hip-Hop.

2. His new album "Lasers" has a dope concept to it that I believe speaks directly to the times we are facing. SEE WHAT I MEAN...

3. I just went to Chicago this past weekend and my experiences there have shaped many changes within me. It's always interesting to connect with where a person is from. Teaches you a lot about their upbringings and surrounding influences. Much inspiration!

Overall, I'm looking forward to sharing some new poems and songs from Penumbra (as well as Corpus Callosum). If you're interested in purchasing tickets online, CLICK HERE to visit ticketmaster!

P.S. Can't wait to hit up Tokyo on Main Street for some off-the-sidewalk sushi! (Xen, I know you feel me!) Damn, it's been awhile...

Anybody care to join me???

CITY OF WIND

2009-09-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

So...over 30 hours driving back and forth from NYC! Phew! What a trip!? Traveled with several members of the National Boricua Human Rights Network. What a powerful experience! First, Michael and Samuel from Batey Urbano took us around Paseo Boricua and Humboldt Park. So much history...so much pride! We are all uniting essentially to raise awareness on the incarceration of several Puerto Rican Political Prisoners including Carlos Alberto Torres and Oscar Lopez Rivera. They were imprisoned nearly 30 years ago for seditious conspiracy. Just imagine: being put in jail for the way you think...

We managed to raise over $1,400 between our Friday event for the prisoners and fundraising campaign at Fiesta Boricua on Division Street. I met some incredibly beautiful people. Got to politick with a lot of the elders and more recently released political prisoners. These past few days taught me a lot about where I come from and where I can be given my mind & spirit align with the stars. I also got to share the stage with Rodstar of Rebel Diaz at this year's Fiesta Boricua, which was off-the-sidewalk! (Xen, did I use that right!!!?) Ha!

All Love.

P.S. I bought me 2 short-sleeved guayaberas at a mom and pop spot out in Chi-Town...and I have to say I feel sooo old skool Puerto Rican right now! I love it!!!

SIERRA DEMULDER BRINGS HOME 2009 NATIONAL POETRY SLAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

2009-08-09T22:46:00.001-07:00

Sierra DeMulder,

You have transformed beyond any of our imaginations. Somewhere in Florida, you have altered the wind's electricity. My only regret is that I was not there to witness the eruption in your belly. I can only imagine your excitement. Your long awaited moment has transfixed itself in the present.

I truly hope that this opportunity or rather this achievement will keep motivating you to push forward. You have changed our lives. Now, you are changing others. Don't lose your truth. Continue to fly love. Just remember...you never needed a tangible existence to prove your worth. However, use it to remind you how great you are and all that you are capable of.

The Collective is so proud.

-Fascious

P.S. How come I didn't get this "mass" text that you apparently sent everyone else? What's really good!??

A WALK AROUND THE CORNER...

2009-08-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today was Chris' birthday

a really close friend of mine

who I've known since I was about 5 years old

it is always refreshing to see him

as he had a big influence on me growing up

and has always put me on revolutionary thought

he was the first person to put me on Che

and I wasn't even out of High School

he was always passing me books

like, "Yo...you gotta read this!!!"

wise dude who walks rigid lines in all atmospheres

grew up kicking it with Dead Prez

while working with international scientists and professors

at the American Museum of Natural History

a rare combination of street and intellect

we went for a walk around the neighborhood

and spoke about his homeland of Guyana

and how he got family in the UK

a dark skinned brother from Guyana

with relatives in the UK???

ignorantly, I couldn't understand

how he had relatives spread out like that

until he told me how his ancestors were colonized by Britain

and that's why his parents have such a strong hint

of Patwa in their accent

because the British used slaves from the Caribbean

to produce cheap labor and pretty much...

the same story that goes for all people of color

the enslaved mated with the colonized

the story of our past

we got into even deeper conversations how the FBI

uses drug money to fund their operations

how they let you sell as much as you can

let you make as much as you want

until they're ready to raid your crib

when they do...

they basically take that money

and put it right back into operations

a crazy circle of evil cycles

most of we spoke about:

from why he believes Malcom X really died

to real estate subsidization

has left me trying to visualize that next step

that next stage of consciousness

understanding that we are all currently functioning

on different levels

of that same consciousness

hoping a future near will provide

NY INTERNATIONAL LATINO FILM FESTIVAL CLOSES!

2009-08-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

After a week of working with the Latino Film Festival, I am so full of new thoughts, ideas, and hope. I met so many amazing people and I am truly inspired by all that I have witnessed. Got to see some dope films. One in particular, Benjamin Bratt's "La Mission" was really powerful and shed light on some important issues that take place in our communities everyday. I actually got to sit in his seat during the film and politicked with some big names in the industry. John Leguizamo came through for his film "Where God Left His Shoes" and even Whoopi Goldberg dropped in to watch a movie. "Don't Let Me Drown" was a tight film that played on Dominican Night in Washington Heights. "Kiss of Chaos" was another interesting one featuring a very respectable cast of talent.

"Machetero" left me with mixed feelings. I was looking so forward to seeing the film but by the end of it, I feel that it used the word Machetero in a way that propensiated an unwanted stereotype. Unwanted for me anyway. The idea of revolution is a heavy topic. Serious revolution that is. Machetero refers to the idealogy of fighting for Puerto Rico's independence. However, I think they extended its use in a way that can be misconstrued by children who are not as aware of the historical figures often quoted in the film. Everything has context. I just think they took things too far by waving guns at the camera and having a Puerto Rican strapped to a bomb with the name of Jihad on the screen. I disagree with their approach but respect their attempt to speak up for themselves. I met the director and he seemed to be a cool cat. I'm honestly still trying to marinate my thoughts.

Other than that, most of the other films that I wanted to see, I only got to watch in 15-20 minute intervals. I was often too busy running to make moves for the next film coming in. Working with the festival turned out to be really fun. Lots of laughs and good moments. Mainly because the NYILFF staff was composed of people who were honestly incredibe and beyond hospitable. Overall, I'm grateful. Looking forward to next year's festival. Much Love & Light.

PENUMBRA selected for HBO PITCH

2009-07-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

Out of over 160 applicants, my script for Penumbra was selected for HBO's Pitchathon at the New York International Latino Film Festival. I received 5 minutes to pitch Penumbra as a film before a panel of seasoned professionals in the TV/Film industry after which they were scheduled to provide me with advice before an open audience in the HBO Theater on Avenue of the Americas. I received a great response from the panel as well as members of the audience. They were all very receptive to what I had to say and helped me understand what my focus should be for delivering this script to producers. Afterwards, I exchanged contact information with some important people and made some great connections. Even days after the Pitchathon, I got to dialogue with folks who recognized me from the event and was able to share arms open. As always, there is much to reflect on. Being able to catch a mere glimpse of possibility has opened so many doors for me. Step by step...

RADIO LA LUNA-RAPSODA 99.3 FM

2009-05-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

Completed my FIRST live radio interview...in Spanish! Fue chebre! (Gracias por todo Rapsoda! y Hip Hop Lado Sur!) We spoke of many things including the history of Hip Hop as well as Hip Hop Theater and where both forms of art stand today. We spoke of commercialism in Hip Hop as well as the underground of New York City. They played 3 songs off Penumbra and I spit a new verse speaking about my experience in South America...acapella. We reviewed Old School Lyrics from Grand Master Flash in both English & Spanish and discussed my play in detail. The radio station also gave away a copy of Penumbra along with a DVD of Kool & The Gang to several callers as the lines were OFF THE HOOK!!!

I got one last show in Colombia this Saturday before heading back to the United States y despues...mi tour en California...y despues mi tour en Las Vegas. I will be back in NYC by June for my birthday and possibly some other festivals. Word came in the mail that I have been accepted to perform Penumbra at the 2009 New York International Fringe Festival in August. I'm excited about that and if all goes well...I might be heading to Cuba this summer. So much of the world to see...

ECUADOR HIP HOP

2009-05-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

TWO performances in ONE DAY! First, I hit up this dope concert in South Quito (picture above) and performed with a Hip Hop Organization called "Hip Hop Lado Sur."

Afterwards, we went to "Centro Cultural" for an after party/show/freestyle session/battle (picture on the right). The spot was covered in graffiti inside out. Incredible experience. Both performances were filmed and I will be working on posting some videos soon...

NICK & SAM GET DEPORTED!!!

2009-04-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

After several heated discussions with Ecuadorian Officials, long lines, application fees, and meetings with the US Embassy...Nick & Sam have been denied a renewal for their visa! In other words, they have to leave the country ASAP!!! They have already lost their jobs and have been trying to figure out how to basically NOT get thrown in jail. They recently disappeared to the coast for a few days to hide out and buy time before leaving. They spoke with a lawyer and were told that they may be able to leave quietly by taking a bus to the border and trying to pay the police!!! (SOUNDS CRAZY DOESN'T IT!???)

Apparently, the police would rather take $50 of your money directly than $200 (for staying pass the time stamped on your passport) that they have to give to customs. So, we will find out in a few days if they will be alright. They are planning to head to Colombia for the time being until they are able to get new jobs. This whole process has been a mess as we've had to move out of our apartment and find new places to live. I ended up moving in with 2 girls that we met out here in Ecuador. (Long story...) Nonetheless, they are really cool and are actually a couple. Quite the interesting situation for me to be in considering my current circumstances. I will be staying with them until I return back to New York on May 10. They've been real supportive.

Nick and Samantha are going to head to Colombia in a few days...I'm wishing them the best!

PERFORMING IN MARISCAL!

2009-04-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

MY FAVORITE CHUCK NORRIS JOKES!

2009-04-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know HOW THIS CAME ABOUT!???...but Nick & I suddenly decided to look up Chuck Norris jokes and encountered a bunch that had me rolling. Some of the following were my favorites:

1. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.

2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.

3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

4. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

5. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

6. Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

7. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.

8. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

9. Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...water gets Chuck Norris.

10. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

11. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars...that's why there are no signs of life there.

12. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars...Chuck Norris has more money than you.

13. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.

14. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

15. Chuck Noris believes it's not butter.

16. What is the quickest way to mans heart? Chuck Norris's fist.

I these jokes are old but if you've got any good ones...please, feel free to comment. They've been making me laugh lately.

EATING BROWNIES, CHEESECAKE, GLASS, & DOG PISS...

2009-04-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

Nick has been raving about his ability to cook this concoction of brownies and cheesecake for weeks now. Everyone has been anxious to try it so several of us met up at a friend's house to bake the goods. (Mainly because we personally don't own an oven where we live). So, after 2 hours of playing jenga and making jokes to pass the time...Nick FINALLY declared success! All we had to do was wait for it to be refrigerated some...HOWEVER, I don't know if his hands grew shakey from losing the first game of jenga but Nick somehow managed to drop the hot glass tray out of the oven...dramatically!

CRASH!!! SPLAT-BANG-CRACK-BAM!!!

It almost looked like an episode from the 1980's Batman series with Adam West where the sounds of hitting "bad guys" flashed all over the screen. At 11:07pm, (hard to forget the time considering we all made bets-The Price is Right style-on when the brownie-cheesecake conconction would be ready to eat....needless to say I won that bet with a guess of 11:06pm exactly) Nick dropped the dessert we had all been so patiently waiting for. It splattered all over the kitchen floor where the dog had just pissed. We all ran to the kitchen to see what happened and hovered around the tragedy with sad faces. After a long silence, one of our friends Daniela pushed through and said, "Alright guys! Get a spoon and dig in!"

Under 'normal' circumstances, you just might deal with your loses and clean up the mess which...I guess technically we did but not with napkins or paper towels. We all grabbed spoons and ate off the floor despite the doggie's mess of piss and scattered tray pieces. I ended up chewing on 5-6 chunks of glass. As I tasted the crunch of hot glass in my mouth, I simply spit it out and kept digging into the gourmet delight.

"One might say that the brownie-cheesecake was GROUNDBREAKING!"

(Corny joke but when I shouted this out last night with broken glass in my mouth, it was hilarious!)

ECUADOR VS. BRAZIL

2009-04-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

I AM OFFICIALLY A SOCCER FAN!!!

Growing up in New York City, I certainly haven't been exposed to the sport the way I now wish I was. I've only attended two games since living here in Quito...BUT LET ME TELL YOU!!! On March 29th, Nick, Sam & I attended one of Ecuador's biggest games of the year. Apparently, The World Cup only takes place every 4 years (which the next one is scheduled to go down in South Africa...2010! Mess around, you just might find me there!) However, in order to qualify, Ecuador's national team needs to acquire a certain amount of wins during this 4 year span. Who better to go against than Brazil??? With 5 World Cup Championships, they are ranked as #1 in South America and debated as one of the best teams in the world. So, uh, with that noted...we got to see Ecuador go head to head with the big boys on the block and the game was OUTTA THIS WORLD! With over 50,000 people in attendance...the stadium was sold out! I had to pay double price for a scalped ticket and wait 4 hours just to enter the stadium.

Needless to say, we arrived 7 hours early to a mob awaiting the game's commencement. While waiting on line, I painted Nick's face as well as Sam's....as well as my own. After getting a great amount of attention from TV cameras and newspaper reporters...I said to myself, "Hey! Why don't I take this show on the road?" I ended up painting faces at the stadium for over 6 hours and got paid fairly well. I can't front...my designs were pretty dope! I guess you can say that my art was in high demand. In fact, within 2 hours of being interviewed by Ecuador's national press...our faces were on the home page of El Comercio's website and plastered on the actual paper the following day! (El Comercio is Ecuador's largest national newspaper with over 2 million readers daily!) You're more than welcomed to check out the link:

http://www.elcomercio.com/noticiaEC.asp?id_seccion=9&id_noticia=266533

Word! I should be uploading photos on myspace soon. If the link expires...I'll just post a jpeg of the article. In any event, I had an amazing time and met some really cool folks from all over the world. Ecuador dominated the entire game but lost priceless opportunities to score goals. By the time the game was over, Ecuador and Brazil was tied 1-1. NO OVERTIME!!! What a disappointment!? I've always thought that watching 22 men run around for 90 minutes to only end up scoring 1 or 2 points was not the ideal sport for me...but times-are-a-changing! I can finally understand why people are so emotionally involved with the sport. There's nothing like watching a soccer game in person...especially one with so much clout. There was even a bloody 12-13 person brawl that took place right next to us. Pretty crazy but egghhh...after 2 months in South America, I can say that I've seen worst. One more month left til' my return flight to NYC!

INTANGIBLES: I'll be coming home soon...

BACK IN QUITO, ECUADOR...

2009-03-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

After 3 weeks in Peru, I have to say that I'm kind of glad to be back in Ecuador. It was a life altering trip that I will NEVER forget but in many ways, I miss some of the simplicity of Quito. It's been awhile since I've seen Nick & Sam so it was fun to go back & forth and trade stories. It was kind of hard to explain the things that I saw during my Ayahuasca ceremonies in Iquitos but I prefaced everything by saying, "You might not believe all of this but here's what happened..." I'm still trying to interpret all of the things that I saw. (Dia, you and I def have to speak about this in deep detail.)

Looks like I will resume teaching tomorrow morning at 9am. Right back into the work cycle while still trying to reflect on all of my experiences. I have a new poem that I wrote while riding down to Lake Titicaca. It's called "The Nest" and has a great deal to do with my mom and Grandmother. It's been a poem that I've been wanting to write for such a long time now. It kind of came about in one full shot. Very little editing and I am proud of that. Being away from the slam scene has really helped me further develop my natural voice with little distraction or worry due to confining regulations. I have already begun writing for my 2nd play and I think this poem has a strong place in it. I still have another month and a half in South America....so much growth to acquire.

FINALLY, LAKE TITICACA!!!

2009-03-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

After 2 and half weeks of traveling jungles, dieting, nearly drowning, starring down the barrel of a cop's gun, vomiting everything I have to give, envisioning the nearly unfathomable, meeting new people, being ripped off, ripping off, sweating, missing family & friends, being lost, feeling found, and way too many near death experiences...

I HAVE ARRIVED TO LAKE TITICACA!!!

The largest lake in the world by volume and the highest in altitude to navigate.

Oh my...this place is a dream!

The water is gorgeous and the islands here are amazing!

On the border between Peru and Bolivia, I stand in awe!

Upon arriving to Puno, Peru...I booked a 2 day stay with a native family from the island of Amantani where the people are sooo humble. They live with very little but make up with what they don't have by smiling and laughing. I got to play a game of volleyball with the locals for a bottle of Coca-Cola. (I don't drink soda but it just made the game all the more fun.) I ended up leaving early to hike to the Temple of Pachamama (which is Quechua for Mother Earth) and thus, ended up paying 3 soles for a bottle of Coca-Cola...even though my team was close to winning!!! Eghhh!

I also got to visit La Isla de Los Uros where 7 families live on this floating island made of some kind of organic straw. They had solar panels and were all selling hand made boats, dolls, blankets, scarfs, and necklaces. I got to spend some time with the children who were so fun to interact with. Afterwards, we visited the island of Taquile (NOT Tequila!!!) where everything is hand made from the houses everyone lives in to the clothes on their back. The men hand sew their own shirts, sweaters, and hats...even their wife's wedding dress which in return, the women stitch their husband's belt made from their OWN HAIR!!! Pretty crazy to imagine but I've seen it! Ironically enough, four of the people that I traveled to Machu Picchu with were on the island! My guide was really wack, so their group...kind of adopted me! It was hilarious! They even gave me a boat and bus ride back to Puno. I got to take a shower at a friend's hostel for free and am now using their internet. (Gotta save where you can!)

I have a bus to Cusco booked for 9pm which will arrive at 4 or 5am. My flight back to Quito, Ecuador is at 7:45am so I have to haul ass if I want to make it on time. Geez...like Jack Nicholson says in that movie: As Good As It Gets, "Never a break!"

VOMITING, SHITTING, & MACHU PICCHU

2009-03-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

Four Day Inca Trail to Machu Picchu...

PHEW! What an experience!!!

The best way I can explain all that happened is by doing my best to briefly summarize day by day. Here I go:

DAY ONE (14/03/2009):

First, we hiked for about three hours passing Wayllabamba with a break for lunch. Amazing soup, rice, vegetables, avocado, salad, cheeses, and juice! We only had 10 minutes to digest before our guide rushed us to move forward. At first, we paced slow but then hit some pretty steep hills. Another 4 hours of hiking before reaching our final resting camp. I didn't want to hire a porter or "Chasqui" to carry my backpack but DAMN...my back was so sore! I packed light but ended up having to carry an additional sleeping bag, folding mattress, and two liters of water. Surprisingly, the extra weight was significant enough for me to get a Chasqui for the next day. Word. I wasn't trying to feel that way again!

DAY TWO (15/03/2009):

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED but somewhere around 1 in the morning, I had to get up and felt sicker than I've been in a long time! I had to keep running to the bathroom and ended up vomiting more than I would have liked. Looked up at the moonlight illuminating our campsite and just wanted to enjoy the gorgeous views but felt horrible. Day two was the roughest!!! 9 hours of STRAIGHT UP HILL hiking! We mounted Dead Woman's Pass and began our descent to the campsite. There were no bathrooms on the way so needless to say, I had a not so wonderful time making offerings to "Pachamama" (Mother Earth) on the side of trails. We managed to visit Sayacmarca where our guide gave us a deep briefing on the history of the Incas. I was emotionally involved with all of the sites and soaked in as much as I could without taking photos. However, by the time we reached our resting place, I couldn't even eat dinner. I went straight to sleep!

DAY THREE (16/03/2009):

I had another night of intense stomach pains and back 2 back bathroom visits. Good news though: By morning, I felt MUCH better. By lunch, I felt as good as can be. The hiking trails were much easier and along the way, we visited some beautiful ruins. We passed Phuyupatamarca & Winay Wayna where the Incas had built extraordinary military view points and passages. We reached our campsite by 3pm and was done with hiking for the day! The break helped me rejuvenate my energy and prepare for the next morning. Had a Toblerone for the first time in my life and GEEZZZ...I'm not a big fan of chocolate but one piece got me hooked! Ate dinner with the group and had so much fun laughing & joking. By 9pm though, it was time to knock out...

DAY FOUR (17/03/2009):

Somehow, the stomach pains returned and I was back in the bathroom! The worst part about it was that the bathrooms have NO toilet seats so you kinda have to...squat and uh...let go! I refuse to go into further detail. By 4am, everyone was up and ready to hike to Machu Picchu. There was a long line of travelers waiting to get in. Feeling worse than before, I pushed ahead of the group and hiked without stopping...pretty much without thinking. I didn't want to pay attention to how much pain I was in so I kept it moving at a speed that had everyone asking me to slow down. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and made a few more offerings to Pachamama. Ooohhhhhhh!!! Whatever happened to private stalls and personal space for these kind of things??? Finally, we reached Intipunku (Sun's gate) and took a few pictures. The view was incredible and we were lucky enough to view Machu Picchu in the distance with perfect weather above us. We made it down to Control and began our path to the sacred city. The experience was indescribable. The rocks and stones were placed so perfectly at a time when hands were still artists and civilizations still knew who they were.

Overall, many changes took place within and it was indeed refreshing to hang out with people from all over the world. Unheard accents, personal stories, and unique perspectives. Finished the last day by staying in pools of bubbling hot water with a Pina Colada in Aguas Calientes with Bob Marley playing in the background. Yeah...I think that's how you're supposed to end 4 days of hiking! I was the 2nd youngest on the trip and felt so accomplished to have done this at such a young age. Despite the difficulties, I survived and in return, have learned so much. I am proud of who I am becoming. It felt so rewarding to do all of this on my own with my money that I saved through working and doing shows over the past year. Many things to look forward to in this life.

One step at a time...

RAFTING THE URUBAMBA RIVER!!!

2009-03-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I was offered to go water rafting today and since I`ve never done it before, I figured, ¨Sure, why not? It´s not everyday you get to go rafting in Peru!¨ However, we reached a level 4 rapid which out of a level 5 rating system is pretty scary. The water was powerful! We had already been rafting for well over an hour and were doing fairly well. We were ahead of the other boat (there were two), 6 people with one guide in each raft. There was an extra guy in a kayak named Ronal and another guy on a cataraft taking pictures. Needless to say, our raft reached an area where the water sunk in and was rather aggressive. And...we kinda fell in that hole! At first, I stayed calm and eventually came up to the surface but the boat was on top of me. There were a few seating gaps where I was able to breathe but I wanted to get away from under the boat because the water kept bringing me back down. So, I tried swimming away from under the raft but that was my biggest mistake.

The water sucked me under and spat me down river. I tried calling for the guy with the camera but he couldn´t catch up quick enough. I tried swimming against stream but it was no use. I had to lean back and let the water take me down river. Looking ahead, the waters were wild and there were huge rocks coming up. That´s when I started to panic. As I hit the waves, I kept going under. I got so scared, my ability to hold my breath grew desperate. I could barely hold it for 5 seconds without feeling the utter need to panic for air. I hit a few rocks and had to kick against others. I tried grabbing rocks but I couldn´t grab a good enough grip. The water was spewing me at a speed I could hardly process my next move. I began taking in mouth fulls of water and paddling for my life. I kept trying to think positive thoughts but the water was in complete control.

Finally, the guy on the kayak sped down river and caught up to me. I grabbed on and kept telling him that I couldn´t breathe. My life jacket was squeezing my lungs. I had to hold onto the kayak for awhile before he brought to a nearby rock. I got on the rock and took off my helmet, gloves, life jacket, and garments. The water was so cold and I had been in it for so long my body was shaking uncontrollably. I thought I was going to fall unconscious because my vision was hazy and dark. I laid on the rock and couldn´t move. It took about 25 minutes for the other 2 boats to even find me. I had gone so far down river, they didn´t know where I was. When they eventually found me, they couldn`t believe how far I had gone.

Nonetheless, we had to continue rafting for another 30 minutes. They said it would take hours to walk and although I was willing...they wouldn´t let me due to schedule. Another girl was shaken up and felt the same. As much as I didn`t want to, I had to get back on the raft. I was unable to paddle as I could barely move my body. I was shivering so viciously and was extremely lightheaded. I hadn´t eaten anything but bread because that´s all my hostel offered as their ´continental breakfast.´ Some breakfast! By the end of it all, I was like, "Damn, 12 people go rafting and I´m the one to get lost under water." Overall, I`m just grateful to be alive. Gotta wake up at 5am tomorrow to begin my 4 day hike to Machu Picchu via the sacred Inca Trail. The adventures continue...

POLICIA Y SEXO EN LIMA...

2009-03-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Last night, I arrived in Lima, Peru. I was recommended by a friend who had been to Lima to go to the "Pay Purix Hostel" which was supposed to be near the airport. However, I never found it! This person told me to walk further away from the airport for a cheaper cab ride. Exiting the airport with a large hiking backpack that did not help disguise me from looking like a "gringo." Mad locals rushed me trying to get me in their taxi. One guy hustled me a ride for 15 soles which is about 5 bucks in American dollars. Considering the alternatives, it was a good bargain. The cab was a little sketchy but I was willing to take my chances. He took an "alternative" route which ended up getting us pulled over by the police.

The crazy part was how the cop came out of the car waving his gun at us before even saying a single word to us. And not no regular 9 millie or pistol...no, dude was holding weight. He made the driver get out of the car and interrogated us for 15-20 minutes. Finally, he let us go after a thorough series of questions and threatening glares. The driver was so apologetic and went as far as to find another hostel for me since we couldn`t find the original one. His name was Paul and said that he was probably just pulled over for the way he looked. He was a ghetto cat but cool. We spoke quite a bit about the history of Peru and he commented a lot about the government. The area he drove us through was CRAZY HOOD! He went on to negotiate several spots until he got me a room for 20 soles at a Love Shack for couples. haha. Funniest part was how we heard loud sex noises coming from one of the rooms on the first floor. The employee tried to front and say it was the TV! The driver and I laughed til it hurt. HILARIOUS! Stayed the night hearing sounds that would make one think every room was blasting porno! It was def a night for the books...

OUT OF THE JUNGLE...

2009-03-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

10 dias en la selva de Tamshiyacu
4 ceremonies of Ayahuasca & Chacruna
Vomited so much of the negative
Dieted 2 plants:
Chuchuhasha and Banapitipiti
Both are blood purifiers and protectors
No salt, sugar, oil, or pretty much any food with flavor
Visions inherited surpassed Earth & physical limitations
Began writing for my second play
Internally reborn

EYES EARNED REFLECTION

2009-02-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

My life has taken so many turns
Evolutionary changes I cannot fully articulate
Insides out
Heart evolved vulnerable
Blood pumped beyond capacity
Poetry & Storytelling
Reflections I forever reminisce
Turns that have brought me to you
Beaches and black nights
Stars and still water
Raging waters and beige rocks
Sun and cold sand
Hot nights and moon blinks
Eyes earned reflection
March 1st: I leave to Iquitos, Peru
The largest city in the world non-accessible by road
10 days in the jungle
New pores scheduled to blossom
4 day hike to Machu Picchu
One night in Aguas Calientes
2 days to Lake Titicaca
South America's largest lake by volume
Nearly 4,000 feet above sea level
Flights booked
Buses/Trains to take
Mountains to climb and waters to wade
Spirit expand

SO..UHM...I ALMOST DIED TODAY!!!

2009-02-14T13:44:00.001-08:00

On our way to Mindo, Ecuador to view the Butterfly Farm...

Nick, Sam, Hillary, Tommy & I took a bus from the city. It is normally a 2 hour ride. Along the way, we received word that there was traffic up ahead due to a mud slide. The bus driver decided to find an alternate route instead of waiting the estimated 30 minute delay. Along this route, there was a truck that flipped over ahead of us. So, that caused another delay. Eventually, the bus driver went mad and drove off the road. Everyone on the bus was confused. He ended up going up a muddy one-way mountainous path. There was rainwater and waterfall debris making the thin road even more muddy.

For a Honda, Toyota, I would say, "This road was a tight squeeze." For a bus the size of a Greyhound, I would say, "What the HELL is this bus driver doing!!??" The driver's helper went around collecting an additional dollar from everyone because after already driving the expected 2 hours, this new route was going to cause us to arrive in Mindo an even 2 hours later. Hesitant, we paid. However, by the time we got HALF-WAY up the mountain, the bus driver was desperately speeding while beeping his disturbing horn trying to make other trucks aware that...uhm...he may be on the road to causing a head-to-head on collision. As we got higher up the mountain, the road got thinner and thinner.

After awhile, I began FREAKING OUT!!! We were all at the back of the bus and could literally feel the back tires dragging along the edge of the road. There were no rails or additional space for protection. We were looking down several thousand feet to an abyss of rain forest. Eventually, we could not even see the side of the road...MEANING our left-back tire was on the brink of skidding off the mountain. MEANING...we and everyone else on the bus would be going with it. All of the passengers started bugging out! I was screaming, "Holy shit! Holy shit!!!" That was all that could come out of my mouth. Seriously...I was scared for my life! Nick had even began texting his Dad, "Just in case I don't make it" messages! (What a jerk!) Eventually, we forced the bus driver to stop the bus and let us off. The other passengers couldn't believe it. They were asking, "Are you REALLY getting off! Are you walking back down the mountain? Do you know where you're going?" There was this one group of girls with sheer fear in their eyes. We told them, "We don't know where we are but we'll take our chances deserted in the rain forest than on this damned bus!" Sure enough, we got off.

With all of us trying to recover from anxiety attacks, we tried to relax and regain our composure. We were all still talking about how we just managed to escape death and how we were scared out of our freakin' minds! After walking down the mountain and trying to hitch a ride, a random pick up truck stopped. We immediately hopped on the back and got a ride all the way back to Quito. Lucky us! The driver wouldn't even take our money for gas. The Sun came out and began to shine above us. We got in town early enough for almuerzo and ate with new senses of self. PHEW! What a way to spend Valentine's Day!

LOVE, DREAMS, WATERFALLS, & SALSA

2009-02-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

I missed a few entries but there is much to be said. In sort:

Love is building and learning

Dreams unfold unconscious manifestations

Las Carradas de Peguche son "Ananay" (Kechwa for beautiful/irresistible)

Went salsa dancing last night and let's just say I'm a tad bit rusty

(Got some new moves though!)

Overall

Full Moon renewed ventricle flow

Meditation

So much culture to reclaim

People are as beautiful as you allow them to be

Internal tattoos inhibited

I am learning

LOOKING FOR WORK IN QUITO...

2009-02-03T15:20:00.000-08:00

So far, I have applied to four Language Schools in Quito, Ecuador. One required that I take a 100-question-English-test. Phew! Looking for a job has been a real trip! I spent over 5 hours walking around today alone. I've got a good feeling about one place though. I have an interview tomorrow morning. We'll see what happens...

Walking around Quito has provided me with a great sense of direction. Many of the streets here are labeled with dates. For example, the main road here is "6 de Diciembre" which stands as Quito's Date of Independence. There is a major bus that runs on this road called the "Echovia" which only costs 25 cents. These buses are no joke though! You get NO MORE than 10 seconds to hop in because when the doors close...THE DOORS CLOSE!!! So fast that they can probably cause you to lose your damn arm if you're not quick enough. I have yet to actually sit on the bus. It is usually so packed that people are crunched up next to each other pushing to get in and out. Reminds me a bit of the NYC subway system during rush hour...only with less rails to hold on to.

Another interesting aspect of Quito's streets is the lights. First of all, at night, you will find that no one follows the red light green light rule. Last night, we were in a taxi that passed every single red light. This is because the streets are supposedly a tad bit more "dangerous" at night and most people are not trying to wait for a red light to turn green when they're at some shady corner. Also, there is this...bird sound that is played at just about every cross street. Basically, this sound is supposed to help organize how and when people cross the street. At first, I thought there was a bird in the trees. Then, after walking 10...15...20 blocks, I figured one of two things, either: 1. There is a really big bird following me or 2. Quito's government is not a very big fan of the simple hand that lights up to indicate "Stop." (By the way, you have no idea how beautiful my living room view is. I happen to be looking at it right now. I have three open windows that oversee the city and in the distance you can see Pichincha which is...pretty much an active volcano not too far away from where I'm staying. Yeah, you don't normally get that in the Bronx!)

In other news, we are going to order a 2-for-one pizza special tonight and celebrate what Nick & Sam have established as "Movie Night." We are going to watch "Que Tan Lejos" which was filmed all around Ecuador. I'm excited to see it! I haven't spoken this much Spanish in a really long time. Also, last night, I met a girl named Johana who is really good friends with Nick & Sam. Thusfar, she has been absolutely amazing! She's going to see if she can hook me up with a used bike so I can train while I'm out here. This will be a great way to prepare for my cross-country bike trip in September. The altitude here is powerful. I've already gotten lightheaded a few times. I've also noticed my shortness of breath when climbing steep hills.

So much more terrain to cover. So many more people to meet and locations to explore.

This is barely even the beginning...

ARRIVAL IN ECUADOR

2009-02-02T11:16:00.001-08:00

Last night, I was literally the last one to get through customs and receive my luggage. Nick & Sam were waiting for me on the ramp as promised. We took a cab to their place which was unlike anything I was expecting. They said it was a modern building but DAMN...it was really nice! I'm staying in the living room on the pullout couch. Quite comfy!

I was sooo hungry after my 8 1/2 hour flight...so, we went out to eat at this spot called "Dragonfly" in Mariscal which is more of a late-night-tourist kind of area. The food was good but I'm sure, as Nick suggested, there are much better places to eat...and cheaper! We watched the end of the Superbowl which was pretty disappointing. (Need I explain?)

All in all, I'm really excited about this 3 month adventure and series of life lessons which I'm sure will be undeniably worth it.

The road is unfolding...

BONFIRES & LOWRIDERS

2009-01-13T02:49:00.000-08:00

Last night
A bonfire was held for a 5-years-old boy who passed away recently
The experience was something that I will hold on to forever
Sunset was red-orange
Full moon rose above from opposite end of the equator
Watched over us on beach
Drum Circle
Kids, Adults, Community
20-30 individuals
Tight-knit
I asked the deceased child's older brother who is 10-years-old,

"What do you think about the world?
He responded, "It's hurting..."
I said, "Really!? What makes you say that?"
"I don't know, I just feel it"
"Where do you get this feeling from?"
He paused and then looked over the beach, "From the waters."

I'm tellin' you...I met a prophet
My soul has shifted
After being evacuated by police
We went out for late night $1 fish tacos (You have no IDEA!)

TODAY
Rode bikes with J-Rizzie for 5-7 miles across beach and throughout town
Sun was beaming
......went to Yogurtland for the first time!!!
100% nonfat yogurt available in all kinds of flavors
Self-service
Unreal!!!
Never in my life have I had such craziness!
Beautiful---taste bud implosion
Recorded at Z's studio
Met up with Philosophy at Mai Tai Bar
Long day of extracted blessings
Manifesting dreams one inhale at a time

OPENING FOR TALIB KWELI!!!

2009-01-11T13:14:00.000-08:00

NEW SHOW ADDED TO THE TOUR:

January 18 @ 9pm
Featuring Talib Kweli
245 Pine Street
Long Beach, CA 90802

It's only $20 to get in, come check it out!

TOUR UPDATES & ROCKING WITH KRS-ONE

2009-01-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

After spending pre-tour time in Pasadena and Santa Cruz for the past week and a half, I have been blessed to receive new perspectives and light. The tour officially started on January 6 and is already almost halfway over! Thusfar, it has been utterly overwhelming:

Day 1
Soquel High School [Soquel, CA]
Showed up to wrong school!!! Ended up being 45 minutes late! Eghh!
Met up with Elliot Khun
Spoke on prospects for my future cross-country bike ride
Students were attentive and powerfully receptive
Overall, great way to open tour

Day 2
George Washington High School [San Francisco, CA]
Wooooahh! Indescribable experience!
I'm still trying to process this!
I workshopped and performed for 3 assemblies (auditorium & cafeteria) as well as two classrooms
Finally met Andy's cousin Don Garcia
Took me to his crib with a view over the entire beach area
Sunset was ill
Met his roommate Monique who passed me over some important contact information for shamans in Peru
Trying to set up ayahuasca ceremony rituals in the jungle for April being that I will be in Ecuador around that time
We had some CRAZY conversations on travel, spirituality, and uh....a whole lotta other out-of-this-world stuff
Damn...what a great day!!

Day 3
Brown Berets Liberation School [Watsonville, CA]
Tomas and Jenn were extremely accommodating
They brought me to the Bike Shack which is filled with bikes donated from the community
Also filled with dope local graffitti work (I will upload pictures on myspace soon)
Started workshop and performance on Main Street
Room was packed (standing room only) with so many conscious individuals seeking social change
Hosted open mic
Cats who signed up were ILL!!!
Afterwards, we had a cypher that...honestly cannot be transcribed on this blog
The energy had people jumping body to body and out of breath
I think God was in the room
Thank you Brown Berets!
Keep inspiring and spreading your illustrious insights
I am changed...

Day 4
Leadership Public School [San Jose, CA]
Woke up at 6am on two hours of sleep
Kicked it with Andy and his students
Workshops from 8am-3pm
Connections made
Student tears
Change---new understandings
Love and their goodbyes
Took a flight from San Jose to Long Beach (departed at 6:53pm)
Welcomed by J Ross-Parrelli and Yanski (arrived at 8:15pm)
Home-like intro
Bomb Sashimi and Dumplings (word!)
On stage cypher with KRS-One at "The Cellar" [Long Beach, CA]
Spitting with The Teacher right behind me was priceless
The only way I can describe how this experience felt was through the following quote:

"The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function" -F Scott Fitzgerald

Having to channel my energy into freestyling while one of HIP HOP's MOST LEGENDARY and IMPORTANT figures EVER were directly watching over me was...phew...something else!
Deep talks afterwards
Key networking
Long awaited sleep
Goodnight

REMAINING SHOWS

*Tuesday, January 13: Da Poetry Lounge @ 8pm
544 N. Fairfax Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036
*Friday, January 16: Blue Cafe @ 11pm
210 The Promenade N, Long Beach, CA 90802
*Saturday, January 17: Evocal MC Battle
814 W 19th Street, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

I may be performing at some additional spots! More updates to be made...stay tuned

New Year in Cali

2009-01-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

2009 is finally here!
Celebrated at Old Town in Pasadena, California.
Hundreds of people were camped out on the streets to arrive early for the Rose Bowl Parade which should be taking place in a few hours. They were all blowing horns, shooting silly string, throwing creamed tortillas and marshmallows at cars!

One kid had 2 bottles of silly string and approached the car I was in on some Clint Eastwood status! He emptied his cans all over my side of the window. As he turned around to celebrate with his friends, I rolled down the window. The second he turned back around, I tossed a hand full of squashed tortillas at him which flew all across his face! (Priceless!!!)

His friends immediately jumped in and went ALL OUT on us! One went as far to even dish out mustard on the windshield! We zoomed out laughing hysterically!
GREAT night!
Preparing for tomorrow.
My tour starts in a week...

Where Do You Draw The Line?

2008-10-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

So...I'm heading home on the 5 train and in enters this older woman with her grandson. They each find a seat and after sometime, I realize how much the woman is nonchalantly cursing to this little boy who appears to be no more than 5 or 6 years old. What made me pay attention in the first place was how she was talking to him as though he were a grown adult. Not surprisingly, the boy did not respond. He remained, in the face, unphased and emotionless. He was a child for CRYING OUTLOUD listening to this senile woman, who honestly looked like a heroin addict, say:

"All that is bullshit anyway! You understand me!? I don't give a fuck. You kick that little mother fucker in the balls. Don't play that shit. If anyone tells you anything, you come to mommy or you come to me. Fuck that! I am mommy."

After every few words, she would whisper in this kid's ear and tell him things in which had to somehow be worst than what she was saying so openly on a crowded train. She was basically telling him; vulgarly; that it is ok to "punch a motherfucker in the face" and no matter what, she will be there to condone his behavior. For a moment, I began to envision a fastfowarded presentation of his future...and I don't know how I feel about what I saw. That woman's ominous tone and sinister presence seemed to me as a devil on his shoulder. And we wonder how children grow to become killers and drug dealers. Through such various forms of neglect. Through such exposure to ignorance and unconscious hate. So open to the concept of inflicting pain with little emotional involvement. What are we breeding? How do you pinpoint this sort of moment in one's life when when he/she has already, for example, committed murder or rape or any list of horrible things that happen on a daily basis? Where you do you begin to draw the line?

Suddenly, I see anti-Obama racists rallying at Republican conventions, staging noose hangings of Barack and Joe Biden from trees in Catherine, NY. Suddenly, I see people across the nation shouting reasons why this country ought not to be run by "niggers" and "baby-killers." I see police officers posting 14 year old teens against corner bodegas for seeing gangs as their only form of family and selling drugs as their only means of feeding that family. Who see only what they've been shown. Only what they've been taught by people who serve as their only role models. Where do you begin to draw the line?

Only In New York City

2008-07-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

Just when you think you've seen it all. Tell me how I was on the 5 train at 1 in the morning on my way home from a show in the lower east side.....and somebody took a shit on the train. Now....I don't mean he just took a shit where people could smell it and was like "awh that stinks." I mean...your man literally dropped a fucking yankee doodle in front of everybody....like straight up shitted on the train. And not no soft shit. I mean...he actually let it fall out of his pantleg and roll around the floor. When he left...there was a pile of shit sitting in the train car. I thought people were moving from homeboy cause he stunk or something but this dude went all out. I saw the pile right...and I'm like....nah, that aint what I think it is when some other guy on the train pointed it out mad blatantly to everyone pissed off that the dude left it on the train. I think the least he could have done was taken it with him. That's my opinion. But at the end of the day, I aint even surprised...only in new york city.

Graduation

2008-05-26T18:41:00.000-07:00

In reflection, I revisit the evolutions that have since transcended my existence into this present manifestation of who I am or even who I consider myself to be. For as long as I can remember, I have always wished for a life fulfilled with happiness, significant substance and sheer inspiration in all I do. In turn, reality has placed upon the complexities of my spectrum dimensions of ambiguity and unprecedented responsibility. Prospects for self-defined success is currently metamorphing into unparalleled potential and yet consumed by the magnitude of possibility, I find myself numb to the thoughts of such monumental transitions.

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never give up to circumstance and believed that I would one day "change the world." That I would one day achieve dreams considered impossible by the breath of stars whispered. Now, whenever I experience moments of intense anxiety, pressure or confusion, I return to the vision of that 12 year old boy promising himself that he will never quit and no matter what...always find it within him to succeed against all odds. Subjecting his future self to words sworn sacred. An oath deemed godly. A future self that is presently in the position of transitioning towards endless opportunity.

Reaching The Youth

2008-05-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

Today, I had the pleasure of performing my play "Penumbra" at the Allen Residential Center as well as the Youth Leadership Academy in South Kortright, NY. These are prison facilities for juvenile delinquents that have been "adjucated" of a crime rather than "convicted"...meaning that they are not given full adult sentences. So, when asked if they have been convicted of a crime, one can legally say no as they have not lawfully "committed" a crime. During their stay, they are housed, fed and educated but nonetheless regimented. These facilities are on the same grounds, just separated from one another, hosting mostly 14-17 year old males who roughly 60% are African American and 35% Latino. 90% of whom are from New York City.

Something inside of me changed today as these individuals have inspired me beyond boundaries. I originally visited them a few weeks ago as part of the "Where There's Smoke, There's Fire" Tour with Bamboo MC, Jimmytheloch, Sierra DeMulder and others of the Intangible Spoken Word Collective. The residents in attendance that day specifically requested that I come back as they were interested in seeing my play. In fact, one resident wrote us all a hand written letter that broke my heart down to its elements. You can tell that he spent a long time trying to write as neat as he possibly could. There were misspellings here and there which made the letter that much more real. So, with that in mind...I knew I had to return.

As of last night, I suddenly got sick as I will be moving back to the Bronx this weekend and had to shut off the heat in my apartment. Even though the weather has been fair, my apartment still gets cold at night...to the point where I've been rocking sweaters to keep warm under 2 blankets and a quilt. So, unfortunately; while rehearsing for today's performance; I was overwhelmed with an immense headache, stuffy nose and cough. Had I not cared for the performance, I would have certainly canceled it without hesitation. But as I have been lied to in my life and promised many things without fulfillment, I knew it was important for me to show up regardless of my personal circumstance.

It was the first time I had ever performed my play TWICE in one day. That's 2 and a half hours of raw emotion. My first performance was with the Youth Leadership Academy at 9am. This group is given a strict schedule of activities to follow, authoritative commands to march to and essentially attend a boot camp. I was told this would be the harder audience to reach. With barely 4 hours of sleep and an overwhelming feeling of utter sickness, I gave them everything I had. This is without dancers, singers, musicians, props, stage lighting or scene transitioning. It was pretty much me with a speaker and remote control in hand. It brought my play down to its knees and made me overcome new challenges I had never faced before. Considering the heavy and abstract content of my work, I know a lot of what I said went over their heads. However, they really seemed to connect with what I was saying. One resident in particular really engaged my every word during my poem "Blue" because it turned out his sister had been raped and he himself was in the process of dealing with this difficult situation. One of the faculty counselors told me this and said, "If nothing else, you did for one kid in one day what we couldn't do with months of therapy." (...How do you respond to that?)

After my first performance, I ate lunch with the Facility Director (Nick da Scholar's Dad) and we spoke about some really deep stuff concerning seeking self enlightenment in life which ultimately provided me with some tough food for thought to digest. (In addition to the grilled chicken and pasta I ordered-"Muah...magnifico!")

Upon walking into the new location, I could see the residents peeking through their window to catch a glimpse. The feeling was indescribable. This was the same group that saw me perform weeks before and had spoken so much about me to everyone in the facility that even their teachers were excited to see me. Witnessing the enthusiasm in each of their eyes made me remember why I do what I do. I let everyone know in advance that I wanted them to listen to my play as though it were an opera. I told them that I did not expect them to get everything because more importantly, I wanted them to embrace the emotions and leave with whatever I managed to make them feel. By the end of my performance, they were in awe and after opening the floor for discussion, they asked a lot of detailed questions. They wanted to know more about the people in the play, why I wrote it, how long it took to complete.......but more rewardingly, they began asking questions about my college career and asking about how they can get into a similar program for music.

After I was done packing everything up, many of them wanted me to visit their cells to have a few words with them. Each of them wanted to show me poems and songs they had written since my first visit. Now........I've done a lot of shows where cats have come up to me, given me dap and been like "Yo, that was a tight performance." And yeah, I suppose in the scheme of things that's all cool. On the flipside, I had these young individuals, some of who were dealing with some of life's greatest struggles, telling me that I inspired them to do something positive. To write. To read. To think. They told me that they saw in me aspects of what they wanted to be. That they were able to relate to things I said and that my words had touched their hearts in ways that had never been reached before. I don't care how big you get in this industry or how much money you make in this game but nothing....I mean NOTHING is more rewarding than what I felt today. Reminds me of why I must always remain humble, true to my heart and faithful to my dreams.

ASSESSMENT

What's greater than God?

Worst than the devil?

Poor people have it...

Rich people need it...

And if you eat it, you'll die?

The answer is: Nothing

Nothing is greater than God

Nothing is worst than the devil

Poor people have nothing...

Rich people need nothing...

And if you eat nothing, you'll die

(As told to me by Nick da Scholar's Dad at lunch)

Music Business

2008-05-18T18:34:00.001-07:00

Question asked in Legal Issues in Music:

Every musical genre is accompanied by a specific image which usually correlates to their success in that genre. Some artists that play/perform in a certain genre don't necessarily fit the accompanying image. Do you think it's ethical that an artist will have to assimilate themselves into the image in order to obtain success? Even more, do you think that it is ethical that some record labels force artists to change there image to be more successful?

My interpretation of an answer:

Success plays a pivotal role in getting at the heart of this discussion. One must first internally define success before even deciding to proceed in the search for external solutions. On many personal and spiritual as well as philosophical levels, I do not in any way believe it is ethical for an artist to assimilate themselves into a particular image simply to attain this abstract idea of success. Many people are content with the idea of making money as a primary means for happiness. Some would agree with the concept of creating a family. Others may discard such perspectives altogether and seek for success in simplicity. As for artists, most unfortunately want their face pretentiously plastered all over every billboard without any significant meaning behind their own image.

However, further insight needs to be considered in reference to record labels forcing artists to change their image to be more "successful." Such fundamentally unethical practices have been taken to inhumane proportions. Making an artist lose weight, get surgery, wear a wig and rock high heels to fit an image that is not innately themselves is just wrong. The worst is when these artists are not even talented but marketable due to their assimilated "beauty." I understand that artists sell more records and reap the benefits of formulaic exposure. At the same time, the general populace is too often subjugated to such puppetry when, for example, listening to the radio, watching television, and reading magazines. Many publications not only insinuate but actually state that women must look a certain way in order to be considered sexy. Of course, this a societal misconception...at least in my opinion.

In an article written by Michael Levine and Hara Estroff Marano in Psychology Today entitled "Why I Hate Beauty," it is noted that "Men are barraged with images of extraordinarily beautiful and unobtainable women in the media, making it difficult for them to desire the ordinarily beautiful." Just how every person has some feature about them that best compliments who they are, every music genre has a key image associated with that image. Nonetheless, it does not mean we as artists or listeners or human beings for that matter should submit to such shallow changes. To best some things up, I have to insert a quote from the character Fabienne in Pulp Fiction as she says,"It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same."

Blissful Holidays

2007-12-22T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ornaments of cardboard

Aluminum wrapped

Ironic star tops

Cerebral wishes

Manifestations of indigo

Backwards dream recall

Memories of astroids

Kisses like planets molding

Sediment oil

Tree trunk cotton

Fields of effigies

Scarecrows

Predators

Fire

Grateful

Symbiotic torture

Insides therapeutic

Reflecting eternal storms

Thunder upon the throat

Reverse outcome

Hungry for love

6445

2007-12-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

I was on the 5 train in the Bronx this past Friday. Jotted down a few thoughts:

Smiles on prospect

Rooftop foresight

Green bass

Black base

Screams from the beaks of pigeons

Huge fields of sparkles

Glittered with blinding thought

Built from small hands

Forward

Night's Energy

2007-11-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

Went to Frankie P's house party. A miracle considering I rarely ever go out. Danced salsa, bachata, y merengue. (Picked up some new moves too!) It was so refereshing to take a break from work, see some friendly faces, unwind, and embrace the night's energy. Especially happy because I was able to get an extra hour of sleep after heading home at 3 in the morning (only to wake up at 7am) thanks to daylight savings.

The Intangibles return to Herkimer!

2007-11-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

13 poets. Workshop. Mock slam. Open Mic. Feature Performance. 4 Hotel Rooms. Dinner, after party buffet and open bar. For me, two glasses of chardonnay. Deep conversation about our existence as human beings and how our lives translate to the contribution of its progression. A microcosm of microcosms.

I had the opportunity to reunite with people who I love, admire, and respect. Individuals who are honestly going to someday change the world.

Quote of the night:
"Amoebas and crunchy peanut butter, what more do you need?"